the past

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The past is always something we look back on, something that defines us. We sometimes miss the music and we sometimes don’t. I love looking back on how young he was, how cute and how I got to have him during those years. Something she’ll never have. Growing up scares me, what age will we suddenly look into the mirror and no longer recognize ourselves. When will everything in life become a struggle when we once had everything at our finger tips. He was everything and one day he just became nothing, I didn’t want him I didn’t need him but what I went through with him is what made me into this strong independent women. I still smile at our past before it went wrong, frown upon what went so wrong. But to love again, if he has or not.. but for me that’s a gift. To look someone else in the eyes and just know that the future holds new adventures. That’s a blessing. I wonder sometimes when he became so different; Chad I mean. I wonder if he sits within disappointment playing candy crush and how many years have gone by. He’s a prime example of who I don’t want to be and with the age difference I am glad I have learned from his mistakes. But sometimes I sure miss the skater boy in the pictures but glad to have the advantage to say yeah when he looked good.. he was mine.. and now he’s yours.

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